Hashimoto’s to You, Hashimoto’s to You, Hashimoto’s Dear Terry…

So I got totally yelled at here for taking those two Tylenol PM at 6am the other day but hey it was a mistake. Truth is, I’m super-sensitive to all drugs. When I drink a glass of wine I can feel the very first sip whanging into my brain in less then 60 seconds. When I began on birth control pills I could have told you six ways my body felt different within the first 48 hours.

Doctors always ask you what medications you take every day and I used to be so proud of myself : “Just Chapstick,” I’d say. “A little gets in my mouth when I smear it on in the morning.” But then one day my blood work came back and my PCP who is very smart and cool and is a doctor at Mass General OK? and wears gorgeous suits and high heels to work every day said that I had Hashimoto’s Disease, or under-active thyroid but not to worry because like 50% of all women over 45 have it too.

“I don’t have that, what are the symptoms?” I replied.

“Your mental processes slow down, you have no energy, you gain weight, you’re depressed…”

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?” I practically yelled. “I’m not like that!”

“You will be if you don’t take Levothyroxine,” she smiled.

So I take it, dammit. I take my 75mcg a day but five years in I’m still not happy about it. In fact I said as much to my girl Annie just the other day.

“Hashimoto’s, yeah, the disorder that makes you cold, slow, sad, fat and stupid!” She knew all about it “Hey come on. I can’t WAIT for them to tell ME I have that. I’ll go on the drug and then boom! warm, fast, happy, thin, smart!”

She’s a funny one that Annie. Members of my family have spent decades saying things to me like “Wait, you’re going to give writing classes in prisons?” but Annie was never one of them. She works as an assistant Project Manager 50 hours a week AND became a professional chef a couple of years ago and so also works for Niche Catour, the catering entity owned by Boston’s award-winning No. 9 Park owner and chef Barbara Lynch (hey it’s a link – click it!) – AND in September she starts grad school at Harvard and has no intention of quitting either of these other two things so you know? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

But hey, fat thin smart dumb whatever: I’m toasting this nice June day with my thyroid meds and my Chapstick. And better yet Annie’s here with us today and she says she feels like cooking!