Fifty Shades of Who Cares

So why IS this book Fifty Shades of Grey such a best seller? They say that for Victorian men one major draw in visiting ‘Ladies of the Night’ was  to enjoy the feeling of not having to be in control for a while  – so wearying to run an Empire AND bully your wife over the dinner table! –  but I imagine the old Joy of Sex was pretty high on the list too.

Still I don’t find the idea of reading one silly handcuff story after another all that compelling.

I have nothing against handcuffs. I saw the film Bill Durham like everyone else; I remember how rookie Tim Robbins gets to pitching so much better after Susan Sarandon starts tying him by his wrists to the bedposts and reading him poetry – remember?

But still: I’m pretty sure when God gave us sex he was thinking “Here’s a fun thing to do,” not “Here’s a fun thing to watch, or read about – other people doing.

Plus you don’t get a new person with second-hand sex. and new people after all are what it’s all for. 😉

Baby I’m Amazed

Pretty soon I’ll be sleeping on the roof, this place is getting so crowded: Besides the two who moved in back in March we now also have Susan her husband Kevin and their wide-eyed baby Peter. (Does he even HAVE eyelids? His dad says he keeps wanting to narrate his movements as he struggles to pick up his own toes let’s say. He has him  saying to himself “I know I can do this if I can just open my eyes a little wider!” ) 

Susie, or Sooz, as her pals call her, did some of her growing up right in this house. She was in Sixth Grade when she became another honorary kid around here, coming here most days after school, starting her homework, sometimes having a little pre-supper meal.

And every Thursday night she slept over, right next to my girl Annie in Annie’s big queen-size bed. They fit just fine, though I do remember the morning Annie appeared in the kitchen ahead of Susie. She came in smiling and shaking her head and finally told me why: “She keeps finding MY hair in her sleep and tucking it behind HER ear! I’m out cold and suddenly my head gets yanked over to one side!”

This was an easy mistake for Susie to make since Annie’s hair was pretty long then,

The two were best friends right on through senior year and even went to the very same college together, where one tore up the Rugby field and the other practically scoured the very language right off the Amendments to the Constitution so hard did she study them and all their thorny implications. They graduated from Smith College together ten years ago and are going back today for their reunion.

Last May, when I was on that same campus for my own reunion, I am recalling that the Commencement Day speaker was Rachel Maddow with that mind of hers as sharp as a deli-meat guillotine. I love going back to that campus, where I will be before 9 am tomorrow. MY job besides walking around in in my usual haze of general admiration for my school? To look after this little guy tonight, while Kevin and Sooz and Sooz’s best pal Annie join some old pals and kick up their heels on the campus where my long-gone mom, and then I myself, and then the two of them learned so much and had such dandy fun.

It’s enough to make anyone smile. 🙂

 

Balls

I have to say, this new baby in the family is one tough kid. He falls down just all the time. He steps across a threshold and falls; walks and falls; just plain stands there and falls. He walks all crazy too, come to think of it. Kind of like Nathan Lane in “The Birdcage” with that little arms-up waddle. Kind of like the way kids in the old Peanuts comic strip walked – like  Charlie Brown’s little sister Sally seen here on the right.

Soooo he gets banged up, gets scabs on his giant head, then rubs the scabs off in his sleep by rooting around the way babies do and so has to start healing all over again

And the thing is each time he falls I’ve noticed two things: (a) a ball is involved and (b) he doesn’t mind a bit. It’s worth it to him to fall because he just loves balls, any kind you got going. He’ll try throwing ’em, kicking ’em, coming at ’em with a stuffed animal or a slotted spoon and whatever and just sort of whang away at them so maybe he’s a natural athlete I don’t know. Maybe he takes after his grandpa, my cute old Mate For Life Dave, that MVP all through high school, that darn guy who never even tried tennis ’til he was 20, never tried golf ’til he was 30 AND IS REALLY GOOD AT BOTH the son of a gun.

Well it’s this really gorgeous 72-degree day here with the so clear and sharp it looks like an ad for Kodak so let’s make this a short one and say that my newest little grandbaby has two mottoes, the first:

You Should See the Other Guy