The Upside of Being on the DL

I think where I last left off in this absorbing tale  I was two days out of surgery and throwing up on my new recliner ‘lift’ chair, an apparatus that still looks to me like a still from a Stephen King movie where somebody’s long-suffering furniture comes alive and goes after its idiot owner.

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Today though, I’ll spare you further grisly tales and say only that there are real silver linings to recovering from an operation. I mean, where would the world be without the caregivers, whether paid or voluntary? Immediately after ‘losing it’ in that grab–the-towels way,  I called two RN friends, both of whom manifested like a couple of  heavenly apparitions, one bearing an analgesic far less terrifying than the oxy the surgeon had prescribed. (And THAT stuff, whoo! You take it and you still have the pain, all right. You just also have a whole lot of other weird sensations too. On oxycodone I felt like a wildly scrambled swirl of hurt wrapped up in a cotton candy cocoon.)

Besides remembering that I was the recipient of a lot of good care in those first weeks spent feebly sitting around in my ice-filled sling I now recall watching a super long, multi-episode documentary about the Roosevelts.  Visitors came and went and I would greet them with  “Look! It’s the Roosevelts!” to which most would reply, in somewhat puzzled fashion, “Ah yes, the Roosevelts.”

I also remember in this early time of confinement actually looking at some of the seeming thousands of catalogs that drop through my mail slot every week . It seems I am now officially, and universally, targeted as a likely customer for catalogs with names such as “A Time for Me”, whose translation might as well be “Make Your Own Damn Dinner,” and “As We Change,” whose primary message is “Of Course WE Like Your New Mustache But Should You Ever Wish to Get Rid of it Our Newly Patented Mini-Taser Will Do the Job Nicely.)  Mostly of course such catalogs are marketing just two main items: (1) Loose-fitting clothing and (2) Vibrators. Who knew?

And look at that: Even setting down such a racy observation shows me that now, with the knife eight whole weeks in my past, I’m at last getting back my ability to smile. 🙂

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10 thoughts on “The Upside of Being on the DL

  1. I’m feeling better that YOU’RE feeling better (and, again, thanks for making me giggle lo these several decades that I’ve been following the Marotta Tales)

  2. Oh no! Vomit on that beautiful antique Persian? That’s enough to make you really sick. The brilliance of that carpet would brighten the day of any sick person. Good to see the “lift chair” empty and “cheerful colors” back in your thoughts and words.

  3. You’re doing better one armed than I am with two! Happy to read you’re feeling better. Good to know there’s a surgical option for creativity. Who knew…?

  4. A high five for the friendly nurses, and another for the gorgeous Oriental rug. Or maybe it’s the gorgeous nurses and the friendly rug. No wonder you are making a super recovery!

  5. I’m happy for you that it is in the rear-view mirror and you are now able to smile about it. That chair does look a little lethal – one false move and you would be dumped right in the middle of your gorgeous rug and have a trip back to surgeon pronto!

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