Verily I say unto you, seek not the bras that promise to flatten for a more youthful look, for they will not hold your headset, your hair elastic, your quarter for the parking meter anywhere near as well as the regularly shaped pointy bras that Nature has suggested you wear.
Your humble servant – this handmaiden herself – has been carrying her credit card in her bra for full many a year .
Then yesterday while wearing her new silhouette-reducing bra, her bright green Am Ex worked itself free in the parking lot just outside Market Basket and was gone a full 24 hours before your humble servant missed it, panicked, contacted American Express and finally called the store itself to see if someone had perhaps turned it in.
Someone indeed had and all is right with the world again but tell you what, tell you what:
THIS handmaiden is back now for good in her trusty old Bali with the bow in front and the twin embroidery hoops under each cup.
Guard the goods! Live and learn!