Picking Up the Pieces

IMG_1679Any big effort takes its toll and we sure made a big effort for the dinner we gave the other night, even if it was of the potluck kind. It was enough of an effort so that at 1am Wednesday morning I woke and thought, “My life is out of control! I can’t do all this anymore! “

Then I fell back to sleep. not to wake again until woke 5am when Old Dave turned  on the lights so he could read his Robert Jordan novel.

“Hey!” I said. “It’s still night!”

“No it isn’t,” he said. “Look outside.”

I looked outside and he was sort of right: the birds were zooming around like madmen and the sky was coral.

“Yeah but come on! Barely 5am and you put the light on? Go to the Insomnia Room!”

That’s what we call the room across the hall that we use for company.

“You go to the insomnia room,” he said mildly.

“I’m in the sleeping-room, where people sleep! You’re the one trying to do the outside-the-box thing.”

Then we both fell back asleep and next thing we knew it was 7:35.

I haven’t slept until 7:45 since maybe Fifth Grade. When I opened my eyes and leaped from the bed, I  strapped on my anxiety without even asking myself if I needed it, staggered to the coffee maker, ran the water for my bath and didn’t come truly awake til I stepped into it.

From the tub I can see a slice of sky, which by then was the color of Heaven itself, and perceived that  maybe, just maybe, just for today I could, if I were brave enough,  let Time float me on her gently lapping waves.

And so I did.. The sky stayed that heavenly blue until almost noon, so after my 10:00 appointment I stopped at my favorite pond here and just looked at the water.

It calmed me so much I just had to take this picture. Is there another month like the month of May, even with these blizzards of pollen filling our nasal passages and coating every surface? I don’t think so, no. May , with a coltish wind upon the water. Ah, May….