Devils Posing as Angels



Devils Posing as Angels: that’s us.

Here’s a dandy little poem in this season of the hypocritical utterance.

“Bless her heart ,” you say – right  before you say something nasty.

It’s in the same category as  “I love her to death but…..”

Here it is below:  “Bless Their Hearts” by Richard Newman.



At Steak ‘n Shake I learned that if you add

“Bless their hearts” after their names, you can say

whatever you want about them and it’s OK.

My son, bless his heart, is an idiot,

she said. He rents storage space for his kids’

toys—they’re only one and three years old!

I said, my father, bless his heart, has turned

into a sentimental old fool. He gets

weepy when he hears my daughter’s greeting

on our voice mail. Before our Steakburgers came

someone else blessed her office mate’s heart,

then, as an afterthought, the jealous hearts

of the entire anthropology department.

We bestowed blessings on many a heart

that day. I even blessed my ex-wife’s heart.

Our waiter, bless his heart, would not be getting

much tip, for which, no doubt, he’d bless our hearts.

In a week it would be Thanksgiving,

and we would each sit with our respective

families, counting our blessings and blessing

the hearts of family members as only family

does best. Oh, bless us all, yes, bless us, please

bless us and bless our crummy little hearts.





3 thoughts on “Devils Posing as Angels

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! Yes, “bless our crummy little hearts”. Going to use that one.

    Took a friend to a Faith At Work retreat once and someone said to her,, “Oh, you came with Dick. He’s a saint.” Her reply was, “I can think of a few words to call Dick, saint isn’t one of them.” 🙂

  2. “Bless his heart” is what we say in the South when we want to denigrate someone without using bad words.

  3. Yes I’m beginning to see that! I always thought it was a way of shielding the person against calumny; l thought it would stop people from saying those mean things … Silly me huh?

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