News from the Airport

1.)    The good news from the airport is, if you were born before 1937 you no longer have to take off your shoes and light coat! Victory for the over-75s!

2.)    The bad news is, you can’t carry your snow-globes home in your suitcase anymore.  “Tough luck, people” the sign all but reads. Pack ‘em in your checked luggage and take your chances like the rest of us.. And speaking of taking your chances, I almost packed my tube of sunless bronzing agent but then pictured what would happen if a gorilla sat on the suitcase and the stuff glooped out and gave all my whites a healthy tan? Just the other day my friend told me about his suitcase: it arrived at the destination city laid open as if by the Jaws of Life with the suit he was going to wear to the family wedding hacked to pieces. It was like someone took a machete to it he said.

Also: The news from the airport that isn’t new is:

a.)    They’re still taking people’s pictures in that screening both that shows your soft little clam-body all naked and defenseless, though I must say I don’t see why people get so upset about this gizmo. I figure it’s just some poor soul behind a screen 100 or 200 feet away stifling a yawn as he looks at us all, or anyway the ones chosen for the screening, all in that same boring pose, legs spread apart, hands clasped above our heads like so many out-of-shape prize-fighters

AND….

b.)    The line at Starbucks is endless. Hurry past any airport Starbucks at 6am, 2pm 11pm and you’ll see two dozen people lined up for that pricey fix. Sometimes even Santa needs some java. I saw him just yesterday trying to sneak this  snow globe past Security.

No dice.

But lucky for him he was born before 1937 so at least didn’t have to step out of that marvelous outfit.  I’m counting the days til 75 myself.  Having to take off that underwire bra and put it in the bin is really gettin’ kind of OLD for me. 🙂

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