Bedbound

This is what I’ve been looking at for two days: the view out my bedroom window.

I hurt myself with that road trip Tuesday and Wednesday and the corkscrew that is now my back was twisting hard, trying to screw me straight into the floor.

I have a crookedness that has come upon me in the last five years. I looked like a straight little birch tree as a girl but now I;m changing and when it hurts it really hurts. It hurts especially when I don’t go to the Y and stretch the muscles symmetrically.

I looked out at this window at the clouds barging around the sky,

and the odd goose zipping past.

and the robins with their small clutching toes perching on Verizon’s big daddy of a cable and don’t the squirrels love that cable too!

They wobble on it with their bunched up bottoms and look like the Flying Wallendas, startling everyone below with their acrobatics.

And me, I lay on my back.

Then I hung off the edge of the bed to give a break to that that reverse cervical curve we all have as people forever holding the old bowling ball of a head forward to drive or squint at a screen.

I lay on my tummy and remembered my babyhood.

I lay on my right side and tried to reassemble in exact the detail face of the man who has been sleeping beside me all these years.

But when I lay on my left side and looked out this window, well: THAT’s when I began feeling better.

I sometimes think all we ever really need is a view of the sky.

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