Death by Drowning?


Remember ‘Don’t say ain’t, your mother will faint, your father will fall in a bucket of paint. your sister will cry, your brother will die, your dog will call the FBI?’

Well I fell in a bucket of paint Wednesday night, or rather my IPod did. Can you imagine? My IPod Touch that cost so much? That I put a mirrorlike screen protector on so it would shine like crow’s bait in whatever dark place and never get lost? “NO NO NO NO NO!” was all I could think.

And I hadn’t even said ‘ain’t’. All I did I had done was to try for that last run down the mountain that smacked me into the tree. All I did was take my little craft out on the sea even though I should have known better with those storms clouds gathered on the horizon.

In other words what I had done was keep working on that darned refinishing project even though my back hurt and my hands were cramping up and I had to kneel to get at the bureaus chest and lie down to get it its undercarriage.

It wasn’t exactly paint, it was polyurethane.

I had on my carpenter’s overalls and had tucked my iPod into the chest pocket, dummy that I was, then for extra safekeeping worked it into that inner corner of my bra where I keep my Bluetooth. Nothing ever falls out of there.

And I was tired at the end of this nerve-wracking hour of applying the final finish. Nerve-wracking because you have so much in the piece by then: the hour of stripping, the sanding, the rubbing in of the stain, the rubbing off of all excess stain, the first coat of poly, the gentle roughing up with fine sandpaper, the second coat of poly, the even gentler application of sandpaper or even fine steel wool and finally finally, finally that last coat of Minwax Glo Satin

That’s what I was on that very last coat. And that’s when I leaned too quickly forward and plop! In it fell, into a gooey three-inch-deep polymer bath consisting of a chain of organic units joined by urethane links.”

I gasped and grabbed it out.

Maybe its holster will have protected it! I thought. I looked at that mirrored plastic screen protector, now gummy and opaque and quick peeled it off. And …. the IPod kept on playing

And wonder of wonders the IPod is still playing these 36 hours later though it now has the image of a dark tornado imprinted on its face. Now every time I look down at it I say Oh yeah I remember: Don’t take your little boat out when storm clouds are gathering, DON’T make that last run of the day when you’re tired and the light on the mountain is failing, and especially DON’T regard as secure any pouch or pocket above the waist unless you are absolutely SURE you’re not going to be bending over.



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3 thoughts on “Death by Drowning?

  1. Just like me with my phone…twice. Once when I did the top pocket thing shoveling snow and lost it in a drift for a month. And the other when I hurriedly threw my jeans in the washer when I panicked after spilling paint all over me.

    Good news is, both times they eventually dried out and still work!

    Put it out in the sun for a day or two and that cloud will eventually dry up and go away.

    Here’s the story…

    1. Oh I didn’t know you wrote a blog Bill! So you couldn’t live with the scratch. It’s too hard, I know… I bet you remember this ending to Leonard Cohen’s poem though:

      Ring the bells that still can ring
      Forget your perfect offering
      There is a crack, a crack in everything
      That’s how the light gets in.

      Can I leave comments on your site? what’s that warning at the top about?

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