Turn it Down Yo

Alec Baldwin says they’re ruining music, they play it so loud and so ubiquitously. Anyway, that was his Tweet from yesterday, minus that last word. You have to be so succinct when you tweet he probably didn’t dare go for a word so thick with u’s and q’s, never mind that ‘ly’ suffix that makes it an adverb.

He’s right of course about the music that’s playing everywhere. Bad enough you have to sit next to people on the bus the syncopation of whose music is so loud even coming through theirs skull that it comes through your skull too and makes it think it’s at some dance club, poor skull, alas poor Yorick I knew him well.

Also: the last thing I want to hear when I sit down at the dining section of, say, my local Whole Foods is some warmed-over music from the 60’s.

Music from the 70’s I could stand. Who can get sick of Bohemian Rhapsody with its low growls and high falsettos? But Downtown? They’re truly playing Downtown by Petula Clark on the loudspeaker?

The day I heard that I felt like picking up my whole lentil-and-sprout salad and heaving it against the wall –  which in a Whole Foods would be like taking a Jesus statue and putting one of those hats with the straws and the beer cans attached on its head.

Since that day I’ve never again tried to eat there. I’d rather start the day equipped with my own food, wolf it down in my car come lunchtime, then walk into any old joint, even a McDonald’s where you can get some Newman’s Own coffee and that apple-walnut-yogurt cup and listen to the old guys all joshing with each other, happy as clams to be out of the house and away from their wives for a while.

Yeah give me that anytime: the patter of old guys, or teens skipping school, or young parents begging their kids to stop making a choo-choo train of their french-fries on the germy tabletop.

What can I say? Call me a curmudgeon, a Scrooge, an Andy Rooney, but to me music is really personal. If I’m not at a concert where we’ve all paid actual money to hear this one particular show I say keep it away from me.

Unless of course it’s Queen making the music and the song is Bohemian Rhapsody.


7 thoughts on “Turn it Down Yo

  1. Okay…here’s my list of problems with this post.

    First… quoting Alec Baldwin about anything, let alone basing a story on something he said….

    Second…when was the last time you were actually on a bus…or ate at a McDonalds?


    Fourth…knocking Petula Clark…just way out of bounds there, Marotta!

    What’s next…attacking Little Peggy March?????

    1. Ah showing how little you know me. I’m at McDonald’s all the time on the subway all the time . A writer doesn’t get material sitting’ in her own driveway!

      We must detest different rock groups based on our relative age . I was a prisoner in a school-bound station wagon for a solid school year while the infernal Downtown played on the radio .

      1. No…I sit in my neighbor’s driveway. Way more going on….

        Actually, I consider myself more of a Carroll than a Dickens. Through the Looking Glass and all…

        I’m imagining the pig tails.

        The scary thing is Petula Clark turns 80 this year….

        Little Peggy 64…..

    1. So it seems Morgan – but this commenter IS a bit of a dickens so he’s maybe just trying to dip my pigtails in the inkwell so to speak.

      I KNOW you can hear us, commenter; that’s what’s fun.

      Peggy March who sang I Will Follow Him, reprised by a chorus of frisky nuns in Sister Act starring Whopee Goldberg ?

  2. Ah…the 70’s! Great era, great songs! Queen has to be near the top! A little of Nick Glider and his “one-hit wonder” Hot Child In the City. Some “Brown Eyed Girl” from Van Morrison. A little of Elton, a touch of King Harvest…! Gone, but never forgotten.

    Was standing in line waiting to check out at the grocery store, and an old, familiar, nearly forgotten tune came through the speakers. My head spun and my breath was taken away as I was transported back in time and space. For a brief moment or two once again a friend and I were driving on a spectacular mountain road singing the refrain as happy carefree young persons. We will never know why that moment in time couldn’t last for more than just a moment , but the song brings it back as a wonderful memory. Maybe it is a tune that someone just hated, or more likely it is one that others have little or no feeling about…but for that moment that all the world was good and we were free, the song remembers when.

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