Sleep Aid!

When it comes to sleep aids  you just have to find the one that’s right for you  as they say in the laxative ads.

I was scared to death of Ambien.

Who hasn’t heard stories of the trans-Atlantic flier dutifully popping an Ambien at the gate? Who then immediately goes  so weak at the knees he has to be dragged aboard like a duffel bag?

I fear all situations where my mind gets hijacked.

What a pain I was in my teen years:

  • Wouldn’t drink.

  • Prom date filched a bottle of champagne for the night. I made him pour it in the dirt.

  • Tried partying with the big kids in college but couldn’t keep up (“What’s happening to me? I can see right through my hand! Look out! The North Star is headed straight for us! Duck!” )

I well  remember this one weekend at Dartmouth. We had been drinking since literally 10am and now, at 8pm, I was in a frat house basement where some ‘bro’ was ladling chili into soup bowls as big around as a school clock. By then we had been through the deadly milk punch at 10, the whiskey sours at 1 and now here were these foamy quart cups of beer. The walls were pulsating as the Stones sang Satisfaction.

I had kicked off my shoes and leaned back on the banquet, balancing a cup of suds on my stomach. When I sat forward again to dangle one leg prettily over the edge as I imagined it, a sensation of warmth spread up my body.  “Ah!” I thought in a haze of well-being. “This sure beats writing a paper on the  Transcendentalists!”  Then I looked down to see that I had plunged  one whole foot into my chili. I lurched over to a mirror and tried to find the rotating pinwheels of my eyes.

Sigh. No wonder I mated for life at 19. I was no good at all at these singles scenes.

But back to the sleep aid that I knew I needed:  Trazodone was out; the few times I tried Trazodone I was dopey for a good  24 hours afterward. So I did what I often do when I have a pressing question: I went to my friend Lou of the Body Work Education Project who had been my Anatomy teacher back in massage therapy school. Her advice? Go with the Ambien. It burns clean, she says, meaning you feel like your same peppy self in the morning.

I wrote an email to my primary care doc and six hours later the pharmacy called to say I could pick up my scrip. Success!

There’s more to say, natch – isn’t there always with the Irish? –  but I only got three hours of sleep last night so I’m drooling onto the keyboard here. Tell ya the rest tomorra!

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One thought on “Sleep Aid!

  1. Terry, good and interesting and funny piece, too, love yr humor. re sleep aids, i don;t know much about ambien other than what Maureen Dowd said a few years ago in a very good Times column, read it, google it, but for me now at 63, i got a sure fire way of geting a good night’s sleep post heart attack in 2009 and stent in my ticker now: Lipitor pills! I have no idea, i am trying to find a reporter or columnist hint hint to interview me on this and do a story on it, and i tried contacting pfizer and their PR people don’t me to eff off and no longer return my emails and Duff Wilson at NYT emailed me and said he was interested in doing a story on this but Pfizer controls his work so he later said not interested, see how the MSM works? Big business controls them all. even the truthy Times. SIGH.

    Here ‘s my story, interview me later. IF I AM STILL ALIVE, my days are numbered, my cardio guy tells me: i take 10 mgs of Lippy every night just before bedtime, around midnight in my neck of the woods, and for the past two years, every night, without fail, the Lipitor pills give me vivid wild surreal and lucid dreams in technicolor splendor usually about real people in my real life, like reviewing the previous days or weeks events, and the dreams start in around 6 am, sometimes 5 am and last until 7 am when i wake up. That means the statins inside the pills take about 5 hours to start working on my REM dream state, and every night, really, without fail, i have the most amazing happy positive life-enhancing dreams and sleep like a babe. I have asked Lipitor PR people what is IN this pill, but they refuse to deal with danny Bloom. I have no idea. I am, a nice guy and i waNT TO TELL THE world that whatever it is that is in Lipitor little white pillsies, it is GOOD for the world and couild even become a recreational drug. I would try one, once, Terry, on your doc’s okay of course, but relaly there is a big story here.
    — danny, going where no man has gone before…….LONG LIVE LIPITOR,

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