Right in the Face

Setting the microwave for the wrong time wasn’t the only dumb thing I did yesterday (and, truth in advertising, I did that particular thing to the oatmeal some months ago, and took a picture of it because I was feeling light-hearted that day.) Yesterday’s microwave mistake was burning the popcorn. That cute little bag looked more like a sackful of peppercorns by the time I got it out of its furnace. Even the neighborhood squirrels wouldn’t eat it and you know how greedy squirrels are.

I didn’t snap a picture of that disaster because I was feeling less than light-hearted yesterday, having recently sprayed myself with the equivalent of pepper spray. At close range. Smack in the eyes. (And no that isn’t really a picture of me here but I just really liked it. The caption, in my book: “And I may have to give up smoking too!”)

The stuff I shot myself with was a household product. I had dropped it, see, and knocked the little spray gizmo off. When I stuck it back on and it looked a little crooked, I brought it close to my face for a better look and then phssshhht! Right in the face.

I screamed. My eyes swelled instantly shut and stung like fire. I had to bathe and bathe and bathe them in water, while repeatedly reaching for fresh facecloths since the chemicals in the stuff immediately saturated the material; it was that strong. Also fiendishly oily, which I realized when I saw that I’d gotten it in my hair too. And it stank so and felt so entirely toxic I had to shampoo my whole head, right there at the sink. I couldn’t see well enough to find the shower and you know what a pain it is to get dressed just in the morning; I certainly didn’t want to do THAT twice in a day.

So I washed my hair and blew it dry, with both eyes swollen shut, still screaming and crying

It went on like that for hours and that’s why I couldn’t write yesterday: I couldn’t see. Plus the screaming really wore me out.

Early to bed anyway, once again done in by life. I slept a solid ten hours that night and last night too, so just you wait, world. Today I aim to be at the top of my game again. 🙂

aaaargh my eyes!

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10 thoughts on “Right in the Face

  1. Reminds me of something my mother did once – picked up the wrong aerosol can in the bathroom and sprayed her hair with window cleaner instead of hair spray (it would never happen now since hardly anything comes in that sort of spray can anymore).

    Hope you are all right.

  2. Hi Terry, A teacher that I work with, once, while attempting to clean a desktop, an overhead lens, and white board, sprayed a very fast acting contact adhesive thinking it was an aerosol cleaner. Pandemonium ensued. CJH

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