- Two pleated plastic lamp shades from the 80s, pleated not so much like the skirt of a Catholic school-girl’s uniform as pleated the way you used to fold the paper that encased your drinking straw before lowering a few drops of water onto it to make of it a writhing worm;
- Four sheet-sets that no matter how much I washed them still smelled like they were involved in the War Between the States;
- A ‘hot tray’ From The Land That Time Forgot meaning before anyone had a microwave which, when you plugged it in, rose to 900 degrees and, once you removed your casserole and tiny-wiener platter from it, offered a free third-degree burn to anyone foolish enough to let his fingers brush across it;
- A fuzzy pillow cover shaped like a lion’s head, only with a tail hideously growing out of the side;
- Two naked Barbies, exactly like all Barbie dolls everywhere who, but for their teensy waists and swelling breasts, are entirely free of 90% of your primary and secondary sex characteristics;
- A pair of headphones the size of dinner plates, and finally…
- My favorite sweater that survived the first culling a month ago but, looked at in the clear light of day, was seen to have just too many holes, too much hem-sagging all around.
This last I brought and set down with a heavy sigh – right before I spotted that cute linen jacket with the nice Princess Di shoulder pads which I whisked right home.
All of which just goes to show : you can take the girl our of the 80s but you can never take the 80s out of the girl. 🙂