Diana, Dug Up

Newsweek man, I don’t know. The current cover story is about what Diana would be like if she had not died on the slow slow trip to the hospital in that French ambulance (Not the French’s fault! They say the only way she might possibly have lived is if she has been ejected from the car directly onto an operating table, so utterly torn from its mooring was her poor mortal heart.) 

There’s definitely something creepy about the story. They have this photoshopped picture of Diana, looking slightly wrinkled with a ropey neck as she would at age 50, then a second, more chilling fake shot  showing her seated on a stage with other pundits in an event put on by Bill Clinton and his Clinton Global Initiative, which of course didn’t exist in 1997 when she died. Nor did the iPhone exist that you see her clutching below. (Even the World Wide Web was still in the future, hard as that is to imagine.)  They have her making remarks on Facebook. They even have Camilla Parker Bowles friending her and her sending back a thumbs-up, the two of them having long since buried the hatchet.

And she’s been married a couple of more times in their scenario. (The thing with Dodi didn’t last.)

I find I don’t like Newsweek now that Tina Brown runs it. She was fine running Vanity Fair and the New Yorker but she is definitely cheesifying this fine old news magazine if you ask me. Her supposed reporter’s account of the wedding of Diana’s son to his own new princess actually said “ When Catherine’s eyes met William’s over the marriage vows at the Abbey, there was a powerful vibe of contented sexual understanding.”

I mean is that not smug presumptuousness taken as far as it can go? Add it to this current piece exhuming the poor lady and it’s my subscription that I want to deep-six.


12 thoughts on “Diana, Dug Up

  1. I’m with you. The problem is I do not have a subscription to toss. If I did – I would!
    Unfortunately too much of the “news” isn’t anymore.

  2. Hi Terry. It would seem that nothing is out of bounds anymore. My mother used to tell us kids “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Too bad that Ms. Brown never had the benefit of my mom’s wisdom. The world is changing and I fear not for the better. I wonder what Murrow would think about this new wasteland. Gracefully treading water, I remain, CJH.

    1. Ah Chris I want to think that we will leave this world much as we found it. I remember what I learned in college about the cycles of history. Things will swing back maybe; we just might not be around to see it. And Edward R. Murrow died of lung cancer at 57 thanks to all those cigarettes he smoked! 😉

  3. Oh, that is just like Newsweek. It’s a wonder it wasn’t a Time fabrication. I have junked both subscriptions. And talk of “boring,” how about US News and World Report? At least, their news isn’t a product of someone’s imagination. On the other hand, It’s a pleasure to wait in the dentist’s reading room. His display includes American Artist, as well as Cape Cod Art, South Shore Living, and National Geographic. He must have 25 periodicals, and I complimented him on his selection. He said: “They are all current.” That is true. Would that my “primary physician” could say the same. His taste runs to something like South Shore Seniors and various pamphlets describing awesome diseases. Sometimes the wait lasts 2 hours. When I said something about the long wait and lack of good reading material, he suggested I bring War and Peace with me. Good idea – perhaps I would finally finish it. Don’t get me wrong–I like this doctor. He is pleasant and funny, and asks if I am 60 years old yet! Such flattery!

    1. Joan you always make me laugh. I HOPE your make-you-wait-forever doctor was smiling when he told you to bring War & Peace! Just tell me he doesn’t call you “young lady.” when some pup tries that with me I want to pop him in the nose!

  4. I haven’t been called “young lady” recently. However, as a 40-year-old, I was called “sister” by a car salesman who had the last word in an ongoing disagreement between him and me. Do you want to hear “the rest of the story?”

  5. My first reaction to the Diana at 50 was repulsion and then morbid fascination, and finally puzzlement. I do not get it. I actually liked the new Newsweek format: essays with varying points of view, and I actually recommended it to several people, but the Diana issue was different, cheesy as someone said. And I just renewed it…rats.

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